From the back cover:
Since the beginning of time, the demonic races have gathered every century to resolve conflicts among them and to determine the course of their future. This centennial event is called the Dark Congress.

Buffy is horrified and disgusted to be included as an arbiter of these conflicts. After all, she is not a demon… is she? She knows so little about her powers that she cannot say for certain where they truly spring from. How can she spend so much time wallowing in the darkness without becoming part of it? Can she possibly agree to a truce with all the horrors of the world and allow them to come to the Hellmouth in Providence, Rhode Island without any attempt to stop them? And does she have a choice?

Review:
Dark Congress is unique because of it’s one of only two Buffy tie-in novels set after the conclusion of the series. (Here is the other. Its apparent cracktasticness is most appealing.) This removes some of the constraints placed upon a media tie-in author, and, free from said limits, Golden seizes the opportunity to do what many a fanfic author has done before him: break up Willow and Kennedy and resurrect Tara. Oh sure, lots of other stuff about demons happens, but c’mon. Who really cares about that?

Tara’s resurrection is actually handled admirably well for a novel such as this, prompting some very in-character reactions. Buffy, for example, wants to be happy but is cautious and worried. Later, after Tara proves herself to be genuine, she is fiercely protective of their happiness, a characteristic Buffy has displayed towards her friends’ relationships on the show, too. My favorite reaction, however, comes from a horrified Giles, whose very first words to Willow are, “What have you done?” I shan’t spoil how everything turns out, but their reunion is quite compelling.

Golden also has a good ear for the characters’ speech patterns, and there were many lines that I could hear perfectly in the actors’ voices, Oz and Faith especially. The plot about the demon council is really not very interesting, but it’s an excuse to bring all of our core characters (and a returning character from Golden’s Gatekeeper trilogy) together again. Although the whole back cover is devoted to the history of the Dark Congress, all you really need to know is that the lead demon, Kandida, wants to broker peace between demons and humans, but she’s killed, and a “mystery” ensues wherein the Scooby Gang seeks to find her killer(s). I say “mystery” because it is completely and utterly obvious who is responsible.

Obviously, most of this story is not going to fit with the canon Season Eight comic book series from Dark Horse. It seems Golden had a little bit of knowledge about it, though, since a mention is made of Dawn being away preparing a castle in Scotland to serve as the new Slayer headquarters. This book was published in August 2007 and the first issue of the comic was released in March of that year, so it seems possible that the reference was intentional and not merely a lucky guess.

In the end, this is one of the better Buffyverse books I’ve read so far. It seems like the demonic threats are always going to be lame in these stories, so the best anyone can hope for is a successful depiction of the characters, and Dark Congress does deliver on that front.

From the back cover:
Something wicked has been preying on Sunnydale students—and whatever it is, its methods are pretty gruesome. Buffy locates some human bones that have been picked clean, and knows that she’s dealing with an unearthly evil. Some help from the Scooby Gang would be ideal, but they’ve run into trouble of their own. Oz and Xander are literally (perhaps unnaturally) mesmerized by a hottie new chick band headlining at the Bronze, and Willow has been captured by Sunnydale’s latest resident carnivores.

What they need is the Slayer. But in order to help her friends, Buffy must first dust a vampire—one that has an urgent interest in Joyce Summers, the unique ability to resist sunlight, and an open invitation to the Summers’ house…

Review:
I don’t think I even read the back cover blurb when I found this used several years ago. I think I just liked the goofy title and bought it on that fact alone. It certainly doesn’t sound very promising, does it? It turns out, though, that it’s actually pretty decent.

I’ve tallied up its various attributes into two columns: flaws and merits.

Flaws:
* The story is set in season three, but it’s hard to pinpoint exactly when it occurs. Much is made of Cordelia and Xander having broken up, which would put it after episode 3.08, “Lover’s Walk.” Willow and Oz are together, which would place it after 3.10, “Amends.” However, there’s no mention at all of why Cordelia and Xander broke up or the fact that Willow and Oz are newly reconciled, so I am uncertain. There’s no mention of Faith at all, either.

* Tying in with my first point, there’s not a lot of relationship continuity. Why not mention Xander and Willow’s illicit smoochies? There were plenty of chances, including one scene where they’re imprisoned together and she’s surprised to learn that he thinks she’s pretty. Because Wesley is nowhere in sight during scenes in the school library, this probably takes place before 3.14, “Bad Girls,” so the incident should be fresh on everyone’s mind.

* The supernatural foes are very boring. We are reminded every time we see the ghouls about their green skin and many rows of teeth, and the vampire dude, Solitaire, has cheesy affectations like leaving playing cards at the scenes of his attacks and wearing only black and red so as to represent the suits in a deck of cards. Cheesy!

Merits:
* Passarella has a really good feel for characterization and Whedony dialogue. I think it’s pretty easy to get characters like Buffy and Xander right, but when I read lines from Oz and Angel and can actually hear the characters saying them in my head, that’s a very good sign. Also, I snickered more than once.

* Action scenes are described in a manner that is easy to picture. It’s not that I enjoy details about the extent of a person’s injuries, but having a mental image of what’s going makes one feel as if one is watching an episode of the show, which I assume is the desired effect.

To sum up: the plot is dumb, but the dialogue is good. That’s not too different from many early episodes of the series, actually, and I’d ordinarily award a higher grade because of that, but Passarella really dropped the ball when it came to acknowledging the interpersonal complications among the group at this point in time. He’s written two other Buffyverse novels, both starring the cast of Angel, and I enjoyed this enough that I’ll probably seek those out as well.

From the back cover:
A rash of student suicides sweeps through Sunnydale High, jolting the community. When the newly arrived grief counselor ends up killing himself, Buffy and the gang begin to suspect there’s something supernatural to blame. Soon one of their own begins to show signs of debilitating despondency, and it becomes a race against time for the Slayer to defeat the ancient threat known as the Suicide King.

Review:
This is the first book in the Stake Your Destiny series—a Buffy Choose Your Own Adventure book, in other words. It takes places in the second season, between the episodes “Reptile Boy” and “Halloween.”

This was fairly decent, for a book of its type. The dialogue wasn’t bad, and occasionally sounded quite true to the characters. It’s canonically correct, and even superficially touches on Angel’s quest for redemption. The variety of conclusions was interesting, too: two good outcomes, two fair outcomes (success with a price), and a plethora of bad outcomes.

My main gripe here is that it was almost always obvious which option would lead you to the end by the page number. Also, there were a couple of errors (like Buffy falling to the floor when outside) and several uses of the dreaded “magic with a k.”

I took care to chart my options, making sure I’d read every page. It really was kind of a pain in the butt, and ultimately not worth it. While the book transcended some of the limitations of the genre, it’s still a COYA book at its heart. There are more of these, but I think I’ll pass.

From the back cover:
Most teens have trouble finding themselves now and then, but when you’re living on a hellmouth, “trouble” is an understatement—especially if you’re Xander Harris. He has never been very popular, and has never had much luck with women, but he is uniquely Xander.

After a Sunnydale High field trip to the zoo, Xander becomes obnoxious and aggressive. Giles thinks it’s typical adolescent male behavior, but Buffy knows better. And when he finally scores “cool” points by making the Sunnydale High swim team, he’s thrown into the middle of something, well… fishy.

Still, once Xander is excluded from the Slayer’s most recent anti-apocalyptic campaign, he finds himself battling his own private evil—and saving Sunnydale High from a fate it never imagined.

Review:
Continuing the alliterative trend from volume one, the three episodes picked for novelization in this book (“The Pack,” “Go Fish,” and “The Zeppo”) are billed as three tales of transition, transformation, and transcendence. Um, okay. I didn’t really think Xander was that affected by donning skimpy swimwear. It’s interesting to note that in all three of these episodes, the villainous baddie ends up getting devoured.

I am happy to say that Jeff Mariotte does a better job conveying the thought processes of the characters than his predecessor from volume one, though frankly, that wouldn’t be difficult. Sometimes they’re covered in a simple paragraph, and I didn’t have any specific problems with those, and sometimes, when it’s something the character would’ve said in their mental voice, they are italicized. It’s the italicized thoughts that are more prone to being irritating, and occasionally, downright jarring. A little setup for this snerk-inducing example from “The Pack:” Xander is prowling around with the other hyena-possessed kids, feeling all wild and hungry. They’ve just sampled the hot dogs of some students, spurned them, and have now caught a whiff of something more appetizing.

The scent grew stronger as they stalked the halls, headed directly toward their prey. Something weak, something that could be brought down by the pack.

Or rather, the Pack, Xander thought, suddenly realizing that it should be capitalized.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have an episode title!

Seriously, this is so stupid! There was just a scene where Xander was too affected to be able to comprehend geometry properly, but here he is contemplating the abstract significance of his little group and how it should thusly be conveyed in writing? How very primal a sentiment! *eyeroll*

Other than that, and noting that once, in “Go Fish,” the names of two swim team members were confused, I have nothing to complain about. Again, the major reason this is entertaining is because the original episodes were. Mariotte neither added much of value nor fouled them up.

From the back cover:
Unfulfilled crushes. Awkward first conversations. A date who wants you… dead.

Having a Y-chromosome in Sunnydale is never easy. But Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s friend Xander Harris seems to find more than his share of trouble with the opposite sex.

At first Xander is happy being the teacher’s pet—until his schoolboy crush brings out her true animal instincts. Then his whirlwind romance with the exotic foreign exchange student falters when she demands the ultimate sacrifice.

Some members of the Slaying squad might say that dating Cordelia Chase could kill a guy. But Xander’s relationship with the high-maintenance Cordy actually seems to be working out—until she decides he’s seriously harming her social standing. His crafty plan to win her back may earn him more love than one guy can handle.

Now, collected for the first time, are three stories from the hit TV series chronicling Xander’s search for love on the Hellmouth.

Review:
This book includes novelizations of the teleplays for “Teacher’s Pet,” “Inca Mummy Girl,” and “Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered,” hailed on the front cover as three tales of danger, duplicity, and desire. Alliterative! Framing these is a little piece where Xander has been to The Bronze, had his clothes criticized by Cordelia, made out with her, and now has returned home to compare all his various romantic experiences. It doesn’t strike me as particularly Xander-like, but at least it’s brief.

I think it’s cute that the font for chapter headings and page numbers has little blood dribblies. I guess it’s cheesy, but for some reason it amuses me. Also amusing, but in a sad way, are the typos that made it through an evidently lackadaisical editing process. Examples: in “Teacher’s Pet,” the real Mrs. French wears a “cardigan sweather.” In “Inca Mummy Girl,” when Willow goes to dissuade the delinquent kid from mucking about the museum exhibit, she heads off to “soothe the savage breast.”

Some of the invented thoughts for the characters are entertaining, like Xander’s revelation that, when five, he once retaliated against Cordelia by dumping a bowl of ice cream on her head. Spike’s are pretty decent, but I think that’s because Spike doesn’t do a lot of self-filtering before he speaks, so his thoughts are most like something he’d actually say. Most of the rest are either:

1. Lame – Like the very generic desire to see the world ascribed to the real Ampata (foreign exchange student in “Inca Mummy Girl”) before he gets mummified. His supposed last thought? “Now I’ll never see Paris.” Groan.

2. Unnecessary – Xander, after loudly declaring Angel to be an attractive man in front of some jock types, thinks:

Bad enough Blayne’s dissing my studliness, the last thing I need is everyone hearing me talking about attractive men.

Way to overexplain the joke, dude.

3. Just plain wrong – (Dingoes Ate My Baby is unloading their equipment for a performance. Devon is slacking and talking to Cordelia.)

Of course, had Oz actually been upset, it probably would’ve been more due to the fact that Oz didn’t have a girlfriend of his own to be distracted by. It’s not like Devon ever carried the heavy stuff anyhow.

Does that sound even a little like Oz thoughts? Not to me.

Of slight canonical interest is that the photo of Xander, Willow, and Buffy in 10th grade that’s seen several times in the series is declared twice to have been taken by Willow’s mom. Except Willow’s mom canonically shows zero interest in her life until the episode “Gingerbread,” which aired January 1999. This book was published in February 1999, so probably couldn’t have been changed once Sheila’s general disinterest in her daughter had been established. It was also published before the whole “who exactly sired Spike” thing was cleared up, since Spike specifically mentions Angel siring both he and Drusilla.

By far, the best reason for reading these novelizations is the dialogue from the real episode that couldn’t be fudged with. Even though “Inca Mummy Girl” isn’t one of my favorite episodes, I’d forgotten that it has several great quotes in it. The best one (in my opinion) looks rather flat on the page, but when I hear Xander actually saying it, it still evokes a giggle: “What he lacks in smarts, he makes up in lack of smarts.”

Overall, it’s an okay book, but that’s entirely due to the original writers of these episodes. Without their actions and dialogue, I don’t know whether this author could portray these characters at all convincingly.